Wednesday, Mar. 17, 2004 - 12:37 pm
Um... I'm sorry.
This relationship just isn't working for me.
I'm at www.dailypreciousness.org now. So change that bookmark.
Lorraine was all snaps and flashy jewelery. She joined Emily and me for dinner at Mimi's. I had seafood paella, listening to Lorraine three hour long monologue. It's just been a year since her surgical intervention. I love the terminology there -- just like I love the name of her site, transgenesis. Very memorable.
Lorraine spoke of her travels to Thailand, the carefully sculpted body cavity that she got there, and of her Thai sweetheart.
The boyfriend's nickname is "Oh."
At that, I had to ask, "So, when you're getting intimate, do you scream 'oh, ooh, OH, OH!!' at him?"
My voice got louder with each repetition and I put my hands up in the air, stopping a nearby waiter. He and I traded the inevitable When Harry Met Sally line and giggled.
Lorraine said that she never said that during their relations -- she seemed kind of shocked that I'd think that. Weird. With a name like "Oh" you think it would be obvious.
Our waiter sang opera. But before that, he spilled a glass of water into Lorraine's lap and she made him dry her gently with a towel and a strong hand. "You made me MOIST!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.
After the meal, we went to the very fashionable Teaism for drinks. My gen mai cha and toasty mochi were perfect for the 35 degree temps. Oddly, the air was more snappy than my new trans acquaintance. (And that's saying something, because she used more snaps than a whole busload of Cher drag queens on X.)
Emily was in great spirits and we had fun listening to Lorraine's stories of dilation and circumspection, whoring and contemplating. She was a many faceted woman, beyond the numerous nips and tucks. I told her so when we parted ways.
***
I also got to spend Tuesday night with Emily. She invited me and buddy Brett to a reception and dinner at Georgia Brown's. It was good eatin'. Brett turned his nose up at grits, though. Of course, Emmy and I were DEEPLY offended, but we did our best to put on a brave face to this poor, uncultured mountain child of the West.
But we had a wonderful chat about glbt health. Of course, I was experiencing a gay health crisis because of my seasonal allergies. My head felt like it was about to explode like an overcooked souffle! Very icky. But I survived, somehow.
It was strange to be at the party with Brett, who undervalues (denies?) his physical charm. Or perhaps he simply disassociates himself of it... but it's fascinating to watch other people's reaction to him. The longing glances, the curious stares, the subconscious self-grooming... Emily and I even saw a guy walk CLEAR ACROSS THE ROOM to introduce himself. "This guy has known me for years -- I see him at every conference," Emily explained, "He never says 'hello,' never gives me the time of day... but YOU GUYS walk in and he's all 'Well, hello, fellas! I'm blah-blah, Emily's colleague and would you like to come over here and have a drink with me?" I just had to smile and laugh at the gross disparity. It's like a social achievement gap that I haven't seen before.
I could get all reflective and theorize about why this hurts me and how terrible it is to be so superficially look-ist. But I don't care -- it's just fun to watch how people interact in general. Brett's company provides me with an interesting new setup. It's like a big social experiment. And as usual, I'm the control. (:
***
St. Patrick's day has been fun. I don't remember ever eating a green bagel before. It's a new one for me. I generally get my green dye in liquid form. But it's all just too ridiculous. I can't get behind this whole insane food coloring thing. It's especially bad up here -- I don't remember EVERY food being dyed green back home. Not to be a stick in the mud, but it's just not appetizing. And I'm having trouble eating with Henry gone. Nothing tastes the same. Thank god for powerbars.
***
Speaking of Henry, I'm going to get a taste of his powerbar soon. He's coming home tonight. Yeay! I get custody of him for a whole 3 days before I have to let go.
Funny -- Brett told me that there are studies showing that spouses have a particularly difficult time after these brief visits. They're long enough, he said, to highlight the time apart and the differences of life experience, but not ever long enough to catch up and share the experiences. Therefore, the spouse is often left more lonesome than before the visit. Great.
On one hand, I know that at least I know I'm not crazy for feeling so bad after my visit to FL. But on the other, it doesn't really satisfy the emotional loss. Can anything fix that? I don't know. Where's the sudafed? I need to turn to drugs to make me forget my (mainly sinus related) pain.
Maybe I need to somehow tap all the sassy 'tude and energy of Lorraine and pack it in a tasty chocolate powerbar, to eat. I could call it a trans powerbar. Think of the glam glbt marketing blitz: Just shove it in your mouth and go! Trans powerbars -- for today's man -- er, I mean "woman." Or is it "Womyn?" I don't know.
